Driving in the fast lane of life

...or other aggressive, thoughtless pursuits by megalomaniacal sociopaths.

Most commutes to and from work allow me to gather my thoughts from the experiences around me. Sometimes I plan things I need to do at work, or when on the way home, plan my evening activities. A careful driver, I always remain aware of my surroundings, giving the road my fullest attention and attempting that recommended safe, assured clear distance between me and the car in front of me.

And then...

Some self-important someone decides that they need to cut directly in front of me to proceed even further ahead of the game, playing the road like it is their own personal videogame of "Get In Front At Any Cost" or "GETOUTAMYWAYYOU*#@#@*#IDIOT!"

What makes what may be mild-mannered polite people suddenly become slathering, wild-eyed monsters when they get behind the wheel and travel through the congested traffic of their daily commute?

The most irritating of these creatures is the "I need to travel in a faster lane to get inches from the exit and then cut into the exit line in front of those who've been waiting patiently in line for nearly and hour" ogre. What makes them so convinced that they deserve to exit immediately upon their arrival at the exit, avoiding any wait or inconvenience?

I can only hope that there is a special kind of Hell waiting for them where they are forced to wait and wait and wait eternally while they watch others like themselves cut them off from ever reaching their goal ahead of them. Let them have their fate taken completely out of their own control and given to the irritatingly patient person (who has been damned to Hell by those who fit the ABOVE profile anyway) who will let all of the OTHER ogres into the line.

Give me a futuristic ray gun that bypasses other traffic stuns only the rude and aggressive ogres, then deconstructs them AND their auto (often an SUV of immense magnitude) into an oblivion (or the aforementioned Hades). Of course, I'd also be using this stun gun against cell phone maniacs who discuss and discourse with one hand waving free, the cell trapped between the ear and the shoulder, paying little attention to the fact that the traffic around them is traveling at an unsafe seventy-five to eighty miles an hour around them.

But of course, I'm the best driver ever...(ahem)